


A Little Bit Iron-ic

by viv_likes_stars



Series: Vivv's Stony High School AU's [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Camping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, High School AU, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, M/M, Panic Attacks, Protective Steve Rogers, School Trip, Skin Hunger, Steve Rogers Feels, Stony - Freeform, Teenage AU, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Tony Stark, tony stark is touch-starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:29:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27442699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viv_likes_stars/pseuds/viv_likes_stars
Summary: When two people who aren't particularly fond of one another, end up sharing a tent.i can't summarize things sorry.Steve and Tony, it's fluffy (and angsty) hurt comforty.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Vivv's Stony High School AU's [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033428
Comments: 26
Kudos: 119





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW: 
> 
> implied referenced neglect/abuse  
> implied referenced touch starvation  
> implied referenced homophobia

They were going down a trail towards some sort of lake. 

Tony wasn't really fond of the idea. He didn't want to go, but hey, five days away from his parents was enough of an excuse to do anything. It was kind of absolute crap though. No alcohol, none of his friends, no internet connection (At least his dad couldn't contact him even if he tried that way). And, if all that weren't bad enough, they were walking down the slippery rock face in the pouring rain. Whoever decided that November was the perfect time for the Seniors to go on a school camping trip, was a fucking idiot. 

Tony folded his arms across his abdomen and glared around at the people. He didn't know many of them. Being a year younger didn't really help the ostracism he was already subjected to from his classmates. 

He took note of who he knew.

Rumlow, that was the asshole who was constantly sucking up to the football captain right? He was a total dick when the blonde wasn't around. 

The blonde in question was on Rumlow's left. He was deep in conversation gesturing at trees giddy smile on his face. 

Fucking annoying. 

Pepper's trip was the same weekend but being in the grade below she evidently was _not_ with the seniors. Natasha was there, she was talking to that girl, what was her name again? Peggy? Jane? Red lipstick, that was Peggy Steve's ex, _which he only knew because Steve is captain of the football team and **everybody** knows those things. _

He silently wished Natasha would leave and come talk to him instead. It was stupid but he didn't really _like_ anybody else on this stupid god for saken field trip. 

Despite the strict rule against tech, (he _is_ Tony stark after all) he placed a small wire-looking thing on the back of his ear. It played music, everything was downloaded on the tiny little wire. He'd created for family dinner so he didn't get tempted to snark-back at his parents. The rain was getting heavier and majority of the group had stopped to pull their raincoats and back-pack coverings out of their sacks, Tony's was at the top of his bag (Pepper had packed with him and the girls organization was insane) so it took him a mere second before he was able to continue walking down the stupid gravel road. 

He was walking slow enough that the group had caught up within a minute or less. 

He allowed his hand to get muddy as he leveled himself to jump of an around four-foot drop. It wouldn't usually be stressful to jump that far, but the rain was hammering and of course everyone was carrying 80 pound backpacks or duffels. 

He landed on his feet sliding across the small plateau-like piece of land. Suddenly, he felt a firm hand on his shoulder. He swirled around glaring at the culprit. 

"What the _fuck_ get your hand's off of me that's fucking-" for a split second he considered saying gay, but he didn't like the way the word sounded in his throat, the way it made his stomach twist, ~~the way it made him think about the time he got shit-faced and made out with Justin Hammer at a banquet.~~ "weird" he finished, you wouldn't have been able to tell he was struggling to find a replacement word. It didn't really have the same affect, but it made Tony feel less crap, and that was what mattered anyways.

"Calm down, I just stumbled-" Steve said sticking his hands up in surrender. 

"Then don't stumble next time maybe, or you know do it off a cliff instead of groping me" he replied snarkily glaring up at the blonde. 

"I _didn't,_ sorry for startling you" Steve said with a kind smile. 

God Tony hated him. It was so fake, because Tony knew that Steve hated him back. The amount of times he'd heard Steve mumble things about his ego, or his superiority issues. They'd barely ever talked, and Steve supporting the rumours caused Tony to hate him, it was logical, it made sense. 

"Yeah well-" Tony glanced over his shoulder. "We lost the group, good one Rogers" Tony said with an exasperated smile. 

Steve sighed, "This is in no way my fault-" 

"I thought you took responsibility for things" Tony said with a bit of a passive-aggressive smirk. 

"I thought you were too spoilt to come on these trips, wish you'd stayed home" He added. 

"So much for the nicest person at our school" Tony scoffed biting the inside of his cheek. 

Steve just rolled his eyes and headed down the pathway. It took a second or two for Tony to realize before he caught up. 

"Hey, where are you going?" Tony said walking at a speed far faster than he'd like to be. Steve had long ass legs, and it was an unfair advantage. 

"I'm- I have a feeling about this way" Steve shrugged. 

"You have a _feeling_?" Tony repeated cocking a brow up. 

"Yeah, I have a feeling, now if you want to leave-" 

Tony was a little bit creeped out, he didn't want to be walking in the dark alone in the forest. "isn't there a myth about people getting lost here all the time?" 

"It's not a myth, tons of hikers go missing here" Steve replied proudly, he'd just noticed a snapped branch meaning the rambunctious group had definitely went this way, he was pretty certain he could hear faint singing as well. He was kicking a small pebble in front of him walking slightly faster in hopes to get away from Tony sooner than later. He then replayed Tonys' words over again in his head. "Why? Are you scared of a dark?" he drawled, he reminded himself that Tony Stark is an asshole, and therefore it's okay to be an asshole back, it couldn't even hurt him. ~~it isn't and it most certainly could.~~

Tony was taken by surprise. He hands subconsciously tugging at his sleeves. He felt vulnerable exposed. Steve was uncomfortably close, not in proximity, but emotionally. He was an empath or something, he seemed to know what to say, which is great until you're fighting and you don't like one another. Luckily (although he was not an empath) Tony Stark was equally gifted at saying the right thing (definitely _not_ in a good way)  
"No Steve, was just wondering if we'd run into your dad or something" he sneered discreetly wrapping his arms around his own abdomen, he felt safer that way, and his hands were protected from the cold wet droplets drowning the boys. Tony was _good_ at hurting people. It was because he was good at reading people. He spent so much time secluded and excluded from everyone around himself he learned to figure them out simply from observing. He'd been hurt so many times he knew what to look out for, what was dangerous, _who_ was dangerous. Steve wasn't dangerous, just ignorant. 

Words got caught in the back of his throat. He wanted to say something but nothing was allowing itself to escape out of his lips. He could yell or curse, but that would be giving Tony what he wanted it would it not? A reaction, bullies want a reaction, and Tony was a bully, right?  
"I, what?" Steve muttered in disbelief, words came, they weren't very powerful. 

And before Tony could stop himself he began vomiting useless intimate words. "I wish my dad would just disappear, maybe you could teach him". It was insensitive, on brand for Tony, but it was also vulnerable. He cleared his throat awkwardly "I mean things would be so much easier with a little more independence" he laughed his stomach twisting with nerves. 

"No, no they aren't Stark." Steve glowered at the smaller boy. His eyes were piercing Tony's soul. "When somebody you love disappears, is suddenly _gone_ it's not easier. You're alone, you have to grow up, you have to constantly rely on yourself. It's so selfish, it's so _easy_ to say things like that when you live in a mansion, and have a loving mother and father, for fuck sake Tony you're the luckiest person at this whole fucking school. You're so entitled and so god damn spoilt. I grew up in a shitbox apartment in Brooklyn, my mom and dad both working full time, than my friend Bucky- he was in the news a couple years back, maybe you heard, or maybe you were too busy you know on some sort of party yacht- well his parents died, so he moved in with me, and then he went missing and a year later my dad did too. But yeah, I'm so _lucky_ because I have _independence_. And oh god forbid I'm as tortured as you with your silver spoons, and your two parents and all the money and alcohol in the world. Last I checked the hardest thing that's happened in your life was 'dealing with all the idiots surrounding you', that's what you said to whatever pop-culture teen magazine was interviewing you last, right?" Steve was quiet after. His hand's had been waving around, his face had been fully engaged, but now his hand's lay in his pocket and his face was blankly staring ahead. "We're nearby I hear them" He added coldly. It was an invitation for Tony _not_ to answer. 

Tony didn't. He felt sick. He was gnawing on the inside of his cheek, he could taste the metallic taste of blood filling his mouth. _Iron_ a voice mocked in the back of his head. The irony of that. Tony Stark's entire existence was ironic. Words weren't supposed to hurt. You weren't supposed to feel sick every time someone said your last name. You weren't supposed to dig your nails into your palms every time someone mentioned how incredible your parents were, and fuck Starks sure as hell were meant to be made of iron. When Pepper heard that she laughed and said everyone had iron in their blood cells, but that didn't really change the message did it. Tony nodded. He didn't want to let Steve win but he didn't really know how to come back from that. "Why are you staring at me like that?" He added noticing the way Steve was glaring down at him. 

"I'm just trying to figure out how someone can be so ignorant yet so small" Steve replied taking his eyes off the boy. Steve couldn't wait to get away from Tony, but the trip was kind of off to a shit start, now he was just thinking about his dad, and Bucky. 

Tony rolled his eyes tightening his arms around his stomach. He un-sank his teeth from his cheek which allowed even more blood to fill his mouth, the metallic taste making him think of his own father. He kind of felt like a dick for name-dropping Steve's but, like a wounded puppy it's easier to bite than to trust. Although he would never compare himself to a wounded puppy. Puppies were weak, and he wasn't allowed to be. He couldn't be. "'m ignorant because I'm Tony Stark meaning I can get away with it, and I'm small because of biology? I don't know Steve I don't think looking at people really gets answers unless your trying to figure out if their attractive or not, but we all already know I _am_ didn't that magazine also say I had dashing good looks?" He smirked.

Steve rolled his eyes. They could both tell they were getting closer. Who the hell was chaperoning this trip?

They walked in silence for a bit before Steve spoke up again. "You're not fooling anyone, by the way" 

Tony furrowed his brow with a confused and slightly judgmental smile plastered on his face. "I'm sorry, fooling anyone with what?" he replied dropping his arms from their place over his stomach and playing with the sleeves instead. 

"You can act like a prick, but everyone can tell that your really just insecure" Steve replied. It wasn't really empathetic, or kind, it was cool and judgmental. 

Tony's face faltered, "You know Rogers, I admire that you look for the good in everyone, but trust me, I'm a dick through and through, it's just my personality, as I've _heard you say before_ I'm a jerk and I'm a narcissist. Insecurity is just something Starks don't feel" he added, it was practically rehearsed by this point, his dad had said it too many times for it to not be. "I mean it's hard to be insecure when girls are practically throwing themselves at you" he added grumbling slightly, which stuck out as strange (the adjective not the Stephen who'd graduated the year before them) because Tony Stark, Genius, Adolescent Heir, Playboy, Delinquent, loved the ladies, did he not? 

"It's called emotional insecurities-" 

"Alright mister therapist, I'd prefer if you shut your pretty mouth for the duration of this walk, than we can not talk to each-other ever again, you don't need to pick apart my brain and I don't need to hurt your feelings, easy" he said his arms curling back into a defensive position. His stomach was churning. He felt like it was getting harder to breathe with each word that came out of Steve's mouth. He was around four more blows to his facade and he'd have an anxiety attack. Which he didn't need, because fuck that would just prove Steve's point right? 

"Well I think that-" Steve started, however they were cut off by Ms. Johnson.   
"Stark, Rogers, I'm glad you two are all-right, the campsite is about two minutes away from here. Everyone else is setting up camp" She added walking forwards. 

Steve and Tony exchanged a glance. No way in _hell_ were they sharing a tent. Not that there was anyone Tony would rather share a tent with- _not like that_ ~~yes like that~~ (he just didn't know literally anyone.) 

"We set up the tent, you know compensation for the whole, losing you situation, Anthony, it would be lovely if you didn't you know, share the whole situation-" 

Tony bit his cheek again. Steve noticed this time. Steve noticed his arms wrap around himself in protection as well. Tony wanted to say 'it's not like he'd care' or 'he'd probably be glad to hear it' but instead "Of course, yeah no worries at all Ms. Johnson" Slides out of his mouth. 

Daisy the chaperone smiled and nodded leading them through a winding pathway before they ended up at the tent. 

"Everyone is teamed up, you boys can take the vacant one there" she said with a smile gesturing at a tent on the boys side of the camp. They nodded both of them watching as she walked out of ear shot. 

Steve groaned. "Great" he smiled.

Tony just looked straight ahead tossing his bag into the tent. "I don't really have a side preference-" 

"I like the left" Steve said kicking Tony's backpack to the right of the tent. 

Tony turned around he was going to find Natasha. Steve furrowed his brow "There aren't any butlers in the wilderness Stark, you'll have to unpack yourself. 

Tony shrugged "I'll do it tonight" Tony paused, and before rationality kicked in he continued "besides aren't you going to try and change around?" he said with an uncomfortable laugh, and before Steve could reply Tony was off. 

Steve sat on the yoga-mat like sleeping pad the school provided sorting through all of his things. He could still hear the rain as he pulled a fleece over his t-shirt so evidently he zipped his raincoat up over it. 

"Your back soon" he commented when Tony unzipped the door a few minutes later. 

"We're not allowed in girls tents" Tony replied with a certain sense of discomfort to his tone. 

"Of course you would-" Steve began. 

"I- what? No are you crazy- I wouldn't- what the hell" he muttered. "this is a _school_ trip, besides Natasha would never be into me, even if she weren't dating-" 

"A girl" Steve finished hearing the red-heads name he immediately clued in "oh" 

Tony nodded sitting in the corner of the tent as far away from Steve as possible. "Sorry for ruining the whole trip thing for you-" Tony muttered coldly, unravelling his sleeping-pad. 

Steve shrugged "It's just a tent man, just don't be a jerk, honestly it's probably better this way Rumlow and Hammer both sleep talk" he laughed. 

Tony nodded pulling his sleeping bag out. He then pulled the wire off the back of his ear.   
"music" he explained to Steves quizzical look. "I made it a while back, it's more discreet than earbuds"   
Steve nodded, the rain seemed to get heavier. "Storms getting bad"  
"Great" Tony said sarcastically.  
"What afraid of storms?" Steve said in the same slightly taunting tone.   
"No" Tony snapped. "I just don't like the rain, it's fucking annoying" he added.   
Steve nodded. "Well um, dinner" he said choppily. Their dialect was painfully tense. 

And the boys were able to avoid each other, it was during dinner after all they could eat with whoever they pleased to. They sat away from each other at the campfire. Natasha had Darcy sprawled across her legs so Tony wasn't incredibly close to her but he was seperated from all of the boys, while washing dishes Rumlow called it 'a bit _queer_ to spend all that time with girls'. Tony was the first person back in the tents, it wasn't to sleep, god no, it was simply to avoid 1) walking in the forest in pitch black, and 2) because he was avoiding contact with people. 

Steve came in thirty minutes later. 

"Oh, your still awake" was his response to Tony lying there eyes wide open staring at the slowly darkening sky through the tent.   
Tony simply shrugged. The tent was pretty small and Steve could _feel_ that he was going to roll into Tony during the night, and well, if there previous conversation hadn't been enough, he wouldn't want to startle the kid at two am in a closed off tent. Steve lightly tapped his shoulder. Tony tensed at the touch. 

"Can you scooch over a bit?" Steve whispered. Tony nodded moving himself closer into the corner. Steve whispered a thank's and lay back down. He glanced over at the smaller boy, the lack of a snarky comment was a bit worrying. 

"You look tense, or well, more tense than usual are you alright?" Steve said rolling onto his side to _stare_ at Tony. Which was _not_ helping the whole tense situation, in fact it made it a million times worse. 

"'m fine" Tony snapped. "I'm not tense" he added in a tone a couple notches too defensive. "I'm just-, my- myself?"he muttered in a questioning tone as if wondering wether or not it were the right thing to say. 

"You always seem so sad" Steve commented matter-of-factly. 

"Thanks" Tony snarked sarcastically rolling away. 

"I didn't mean it like that I just meant like do you need a hug or something" he said teasingly. Almost fondly. Maybe Steve _didn't_ hate Tony that much. 

" _no"_ Tony said sharply. "and I'm not _sad_ what the hell happened to being incredibly lucky Steve" he snapped. 

Steve cringed slightly "look I'm sorry about that, I'm sure some shitty things have happened but you just need, I guess perspective before you say ignorant shit like that." they both were silent. "why no hugs? Hugs are great. You need eight a day, touch is like water or food, you can get starved if you don't have enough of it" 

Tony felt like he was going to be sick. His stomach was twitching and his breathing was getting harder, his chest felt heavy. "I don't like them" Tony whispered quietly. "I'm going to sleep" he stated twisting so Steve could no longer look at him. 

It lasted twenty minutes. 

Twenty minutes of Tony lying in dead silence thinking about what the hell he would do if something went wrong. He thought about the six unfinished projects for his dad lying on his desk due the day they got back from their trip. It was a shit idea to come, and now he was going to go all- painful chest-y and cry like the fucking baby he was. Jarvis was no where near, Pepper and Rhodey weren't one call away because even though he had his phone he wouldn't have service. He wasn't close enough with Nat, and it was too stormy to leave his tent and just sit outside until he chilled the fuck out. Every scenario got worse and worse and the small churning in his stomach over-took his entire body. His breathing became audibly laboured and he felt his hand shaking. 

"Tony you okay?" Steve whispered. 

Tony cleared his throat. Defensive, be defensive, he doesn't need to know just be quiet and casual. Don't say anything stupid, don't let your voice crack, pretend it's Howard, it isn't just some guy. Howard. He couldn't be weak. He chewed on his cheek purposefully trying to get that god for saken taste, that stupid reminder to re-enter his body. 

"Tony?" Steve repeated. 

"I'm fine" Tony stammered through his increasingly quickening breathing. 

"Tony" Steve said again. 

"I'm _fine_ " Tony said snappishly the small crack in his voice giving him away. 

"Get out of the sleeping bag it's trapping you" Steve whispered sitting up, his own sleeping bag falling to his waist. 

Tony listened shivering slightly as he left the warmth. Steve was right, and Tony had failed. He wondered if his tear tracks were visible in the dark lighting of the tent. He prayed they weren't. 

His breathing was slowing but his entire body was trembling. 

"I'm going to put an arm around your shoulder's alright?" Steve said tentatively scooting towards the boy. 

Tony opened his mouth to say no, but instead he nodded yes and Steves warm arms were pulling him back to reality. 

Steve would've felt uncomfortable if the fear in Tony's eyes hadn't flashed the same way Bucky's used to. Tony had kicked him into protective-mode and it was too late to turn back. 

"S-sorry" Tony choked out still trembling. Sorry, sorry for being weak, for being useless, unworthy, malicious, rude, self centred. He had too many things to apologize for he never knew where to start, so hopefully the word would be enough. 

"Hey your fine" Steve said uncertainly. His brain wasn't in the moment anymore he was thinking about the next morning, Tony back to his usual self, Steve with a developed sense of caring for the boy. He wouldn't be able to hate him any more. Maybe he was too forgiving, or maybe he was just too blind earlier. 

Tony didn't make a move to leave his spot safely tucked beneath Steve's arm. 

"Can I-" he whispered looking up at Steve. He didn't finish his sentence, but Steve had seen this before, he nodded. Tony leaned in a bit desperately grabbing at the collar of Steve's shirt. Steves stomach flipped as he began to play with the smaller boys hair. He suddenly felt like he was taking advantage of him, normal Tony wouldn't want this, normal Tony pushed him away at the slightest- _oh_. 

"Hey Tony" Steve whispered. 

Tony nodded. 

"Sorry about what I said earlier, I-" Steve paused "I didn't know" 

Tony nodded again "no-one does" he whispered into Steve's chest. 


	2. A Thin Layer Between Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's day 2 of the camping trip, it almost feels like a set up for another chapter, so more to come!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have /very/ mixed feelings about this  
> anyhow, leave notes advice etc etc
> 
> <3 viv

Steve woke up cold. The tents were made for three, the lack of body heat was already noticeable, Tony not being in their tent probably wasn't helping. Steve wasn't overly surprised, the look of sheer horror when Tony finally came back to his senses was hard to miss despite being in the plain dark, and even if he  _ hadn't  _ seen that, the violent shove was a pretty clear message. Steve couldn't really blame himself, Tony had needed someone, and he happened to be the only person there. Steve inhaled, the cold air filled his lungs, light was pouring through the thin covering of the tent. Steve glanced around their tent, he'd kind of expected Tony to be a messy person, but instead his stuff was all nicely piled up taking as little space as possible, apparently telling him to move farther away last night clearly stuck with the boy.

Once changed, he unzipped the tent glancing up at the sky, he sighed, grabbing his raincoat, the weather was relentless, almost as though some sort of force  _ wanted  _ him to be stuck in a tent with Tony Stark. He noticed the majority of the people were already awake, complaining about noises during the night, leaks in their tents, or the light from outside waking them up. Steve scanned over the scene, everyone was eating oatmeal. They were sat at what appeared to be about six picnic benches pushed together in a line under a couple of tarps. He also realized that he was the last up, It was a bit out of the ordinary for him, but he supposed the forty minutes at one in the morning probably took a toll on his sleep schedule. He wasn’t surprised when he saw the large dark circles hanging underneath Tony’s eyes. He looked around, his friends were by the grey water bucket, washing dishes. He curled his lip debating his options. 

Tony seemed to be amidst a conversation with his friend, that girl Natasha. She was nodding along as Tony muttered, gesturing his hands around. He wasn’t in as confident of a position as he usually was spotted around campus. His shoulders were hunched and he was curled up, taking as little space as possible. He looked aggravated. Steve was happy to not be a part of it. 

“Nat,  _ why  _ do you think something happened,  _ nothing  _ happened? '' Tony hissed, taking another thing of his over-steeped tea. He had thought that maybe, just maybe if he made his tea strong enough, it would have a similar effect to coffee. It didn’t. Tony was tired, and humiliated. He’d tried to fall back asleep,  _ god  _ he tried. It was easier to forget things if they were hazy memories covered up by the drowsiness of sleep, yet it was far harder when you were sitting behind a tree, hiding from the chaperones, and your unusually attractive tent-mate replaying the scene of the plausibly single most embarrassing thing you’d ever done. Even thinking about  _ not  _ thinking about it was making his stomach flip. The way Steve had wrapped his arm around his shoulder (which- and Tony did not want to linger on the thought- probably made them look twenty times smaller than their usual small stature) out of pity. The way Steve had  _ cooed  _ as if he were some sort of fucking toddler.  _ God it made Tony want to sink into the earth _ . Every time he opened his mouth he could hear the tremor in his voice, the one that made him sound so shaky, and broke the previous one. He could picture Steve’s confused expression, and the way he’d briefly pulled away once he’d surveyed the situation, as if he wished he hadn’t even touched Tony in the first place. And how could you blame him? 

“Your mumbling and your eyes are darker than my Soviet History course” the girl teased while taking another sip of her tea. She’d finished her oatmeal and already cleaned up both her and Tony’s dishes (she normally wouldn’t do something like that but Tony had practically fallen asleep propping his head up with his hand and, well, she took pity.) 

“‘M not mumbling” Tony protested in what was un-doubtfully a mumble. “I’m fine” he added in a clear tone of voice for good measure. He wasn’t. Usually crying his eyes out and choking on his own breaths late at night knocked him into a beauty sleep. He’d never really experienced the aftermath, the tiredness, of one of his…  _ things _ . Tony Stark didn’t have issues. That was just how it had to be. It was simply, a… blip. A quirk, something that was  _ supposed  _ to stay in his bedroom at three am instead of come on the school camping trip. It wasn’t really part of Tony, it was like, getting sick (which Tony  _ did not  _ partake in) or getting hungry. If you ignore your needs for long enough they go away. And it worked. Tony was certain it worked. He used to feel warm every time someone accidentally brushed their hand against his, and so he would try so hard to steal a hug, or grab his mom’s hand, clamber into Jarvis’ lap, and the less he got, the less he felt he needed it. He didn’t need the attention. He didn’t need the love. Touch became hostile and uncomfortable. Love became reserved, reserved for Rhodes, Pep, and sometimes even Natasha. Trust became fiction. 

“Yeah, okay sure, great performance Stark, here's your Oscar” She rolled her eyes slightly. Tony opened his mouth with some sort of snarky reply, but someone else cut through their conversation. 

Daisy, or was it Skye? Either way it was Ms. Johnson. 

Tony wasn’t really paying attention. He was staring into his now empty cup of tea. The edges of the white camping mug had a dark liquid rolling around the circumference of the bottom. Some drips fell down the edges, crying. 

Had Tony cried last night? In Steve’s fucking arms? Did that actually happen? Fuck. 

“There's been a small change in our itinerary-“ 

Tony glanced over at Steve only to notice that Steve too was staring. Even farther embarrassed Tony whipped his gaze away immediately staring back into the empty cup, he could just tell his face was dusted across the cheeks with pink.

Tony was zoned out, which was the reason he was surprised when he was numbered off. 

“What’s this for Nat-“ Tony started only to realize that Nat had walked into the side opposite that he was placed in. He glanced around, god did he luck out. He didn’t know half the people, he definitely knew Steve (unfortunately) he recognized Rumlow, Pierce, and he knew Hammer. There were two other guys he didn’t know, and most of the girls he’d only heard names in passing. Hope, Jane, Darcy. 

Tony had intended to trail along at the back of the group, but with Pierce and Rumlow tussling around like the idiots they were at the end of the line, he didn’t really have that choice anymore. It wasn’t that he thought they’d pull shit on a school trip, but he wouldn’t put it past them. Tony had the sleeves of his crew neck poking out of his raincoat. Despite the thick droplets his hood was down. He got an embarrassed knot in his stomach doing little things like that. His hands were anxiously toying at the fabric of his sleeves, every branch creaking caused him to look around and re-evaluate his surroundings. He was half expecting Steve to sneak up on him with his oversized hands again. Tony liked the way the rain made a soft noise through the thick trees, the heavy flow of water dissipated as they snaked through the tall ever-greens. Tony looked around, to his left he noticed a little ledge, he glared at it slightly, if that stupid ledge hadn’t been there he wouldn’t have tented with Steve in the first place, but when he thought about it, there wasn’t really anybody else who’d be willing to sleep in a tent with him. That was kind of depressing in itself, but the worst part was that he knew for a fact it was true. It was one of the reasons he never liked going on the stupid school trips anyways. There are eight different weekends, eight possible different combinations of students, and he somehow ended up with his  _ biggest fans _ . Tony’s head stopped whirring briefly as he looked at the little grey squirrels scurrying up the trunks of trees. It was weirdly relaxing. So of course seeing a hand fly into his line of sight startled him. It was embarrassing just how much it startled him though. 

Brock had been chasing Alexander up the path, hustling to lead the group, and his hand had simply flailed a little too close to Tony’s face. Tony's not only visibly winced, but there may or may not have been the smallest audible whimper as he turned not only his head away, but his shoulders as well. 

The sixteen year old looked to his left debating whether or not he’d actually die if he threw himself off the side of the rocky-ledge, or if he’d just end up injuring himself and making things worse. Based on the lack of height and the strength of his bones (which  _ had  _ been previously tested whether intentional or not) would not have even gotten him a broken bone. 

Rumlow had stopped running grabbing the hood of Alexander's raincoat. He had a menacing grin on his face, slightly lopsided, tilting to the left as he furrowed his brow at the boy a couple of inches below him.

“Sorry  _ what  _ did you say Stark?” He sneered amusement laced into his aggressive tone. 

Tony was off his guard. He needed to figure out something cocky, quick witted, something  _ good  _ and god he had to do it fast. “I was relaying my sympathy, I figured it must’ve been pretty rough when you got thrown on the bench for a freshman” Tony snarked, it certainly wasn’t a good reply, but Brock’s wit was at a low enough level that it probably seemed like a fairly decent response. 

“ _ I wasn’t sidelined for a ninth grader _ -“ Brock began snarling, Alexander appeared to be more attuned to this kind of situation however. 

“Cool it Rumlow, Stark here is just trying to distract from the fact that he whined like a little girl, you do that in bed too?” Alexander said taking on a taunting tone that Tony had most certainly heard before. 

Tony shoved his hands in his pockets “I dunno Alexander, I heard that Elsie broke up with you because you weren’t very adept at-“ 

Alexander gave him a passive aggressive smile before quickly bringing his hand up to his neck. The motion was smooth, sharp, intentional. 

Tony, against his will, found his eyes shut and neck craned away from the motion, arm slightly raised in defence.

Apparently, this was amusing, because Alexander and Brock couldn’t seem to stop laughing. 

“Oh, man I didn’t expect that to work a second time-“ Brock barked, nudging Pierce’s shoulder with an amused expression. 

“I think it would work a third, and probably a fourth, fifth and sixth too, right Starkie?” Alexander said with a mocking tone. 

“So, quick question” Tony said, maintaining a steady voice. He wasn’t particularly bothered by anything they were doing, almost anyone would flinch at the motion of a hand coming towards them, but Tony wouldn’t deny potentially having a more explosive response. “Is your playing time equal to your IQ? I keep forgetting which ones zero” Tony said with a feign ignorance.

Alexander pulled a side eye “Maybe one of these time’s I’ll actually follow through, it can be like a game, you know, if you piss me off enough maybe you’ll learn how to shut the fuck up, because clearly mommy and daddy didn’t teach you how-“ 

“Alex, Brock!” Steve’s voice called. Tony had been close to punching the asshole, his fist was clenched and the only thing that had been stopping him was the idea of explaining that to his father. Luckily Steve seemed to be an easier solution to the problem. Tony slinked to the side of the trail. 

“I thought I heard fighting-“ Steve said as he slowed his stride to walk with them. 

“Yeah, all five foot five of him was trying-“ Pierce snickered. Steve cocked a brow up, not necessarily in judgment or amusement, mostly in a motherly  _ really?  _ face. 

Tony didn’t say anything he simply stuck up his middle finger with a smirk, he’d definitely would’ve won the conversation if Steve hadn’t cut them off. 

“What happened?” Steve said in an expecting tone. Tony took it as his cue to leave. He didn’t want to be there for the glances of pity and judgment. He trudged ahead to the front of the group where he  _ had  _ been before Pierce and Rumlow made an appearance. 

Tony was kicking a pinecone absentmindedly. They’d reached a lookout of some sort, the pit-stop of their hike, and everyone was eating lunch. Tony wasn’t overly interested in the food before him. It was a peanut butter sandwich and earnestly since the previous night his stomach hadn’t stopped churning. He definitely did not need to worry about barfing up his lunch as well. He could feel someone watching him. He wasn’t originally going to turn around and check. Tony was used to people staring. Being the son of Howard Stark got a fair bit of attention. After his bad publicity starting at about age eleven, the stares evidently became more common. It was seemingly easy to label him. It was easy to say that Tony Stark drank too much, or was nothing more than a spoilt kid born into success. It was harder to appreciate his success because it seemed to come too easily to even be real. Tony was sitting on a log away from most of the other people around tapping the heel of his running shoes together to pass the time. Laughter carried through the wind reminding him that there was at least a pair of eyes on him. He casually glanced to his right. Steve. Of course it was Steve. He made a point to look  _ past  _ Steve so if the boy even noticed he wouldn’t think Tony was watching him because, that of course, would be the worst thing in the world. It  _ wasn’t _ because Tony liked him in that way, right, no of course not, that would be immature and pointless. Tony wasn’t supposed to do anything unless it had a purpose. The rain was becoming unbearably heavy so he was more than relieved when they decided to turn around at the halfway-lunch-stop rather than finish the hike. 

The walk back seemed to be going faster, Tony couldn’t tell whether it was because he was walking at a faster pace in hopes to avoid any remarks or looks from a couple people in particular, or whether the downhill made everything easier. Probably a little bit of both. Tony was exhausted and he wanted to rest, his stomach was in a constant knot, the sleeves of his sweatshirt were getting destroyed from the constant toying courtesy of his hands. 

The moment his feet hit the soil of their campsite, he beelined towards his tent. Sliding his soaking shoes off underneath the fly and clambering right into the tent. He left his jacket outside of the tent as well. He grabs dry clothes out of his back and slips into sweatpants. He’d told himself he’d only wear them alone, in his tent, late at night, but what was the point of looking good when literally nobody cared? He climbed into his sleeping bag, it lay at his waist. His shirt was covering his face as he pulled it off, a dry AC/DC shirt laying next to his hand. He heard the zipper open and had less than two seconds to grab the dry shirt and hold it up against his chest. His shoulders and back were still completely exposed and he could feel his face heat up. He probably wouldn’t have cared if it were anyone but Steve, however his heart had paused, and his head was screaming at him that he was too exposed and vulnerable once again. This stupid tent had to be cursed. 

“Hey” Steve said, turning around and zipping the tent back up. The rain was pattering loudly and Steve’s hair was soaked through. 

It took Tony a total of three seconds to realize that Steve too was about to be shirtless with no more than a foot between them. He turned his face around and pulled his shirt over his chest as quickly as possible pretending to rummage through his bag for an excuse to not look. He wanted to, but that was kind of a violation of Steve’s privacy. 

“So” Steve said in a soft voice. 

The cautiousness of his tone made the smaller of the two want to scream. He didn’t want to be coddled, he didn’t want Steve to walk on eggshells to prevent Tony from becoming a pathetic quivering  _ child _ . Tony didn’t want to make eye contact, so he began digging around for a pair of socks, to at least have some sort of product when he’d murdered every goddamned butterfly in his stomach. Tony hummed in a response, an invitation for Steve to get on with whatever he wanted to start. 

“Why the disappearing act Merlin?” Steve commented twisting left and right, cracking his back. Tony cringed at the sound, it was like bubble wrap, what the fuck was wrong with Steve’s back. 

Tony’s stomach flipped. “I- uh, I didn’t sleep so I just left early” Tony replied plainly. He gathered back his usual confidence after the initial stutter. His father would’ve sneered at that. Tony used to stutter on every single word. He never sounded smart, and it gave Howard another reason to never try and listen to his son. 

Steve nodded in response. “Are you alright?” He added tentatively. 

“I’m  _ fine _ ” Tony snapped “fuck why does everyone think theres something wrong with me all the time” he groaned wrapping his arms around his abdomen. Whether it was his father wondering how he could’ve raised such a failure, or his mom wondering why he became so distant, or Natasha trying to figure out why he was in such a shit mood, there was always something wrong. He never was just a person. 

“Maybe because you're kind of depressing to be around” Steve replied blankly. Tony’s stomach sank in discomfort. Steve glanced up at the fly, they couldn’t see the rain, but they could hear it. It was a request to stay in the tents until it subsided a bit. Two tarps had already collapsed under the weight of the water.

His throat became thick, as though it were closing up. He quickly covered himself with his sweatshirt and hid his fists in his oversized hoodie, quietly digging his nails into his skin. It was the only way he would be able to prevent himself from embarrassing himself, again. God he’d never had two incidents this close to one another. Maybe the lack of sleep made him weak, but he was always weak as Howard had pointed out many times before. And for once in Tony’s life he didn’t have a reply. 

“I- thanks” he muttered tugging at his sleeves.  _ Depressing to be around _ . Could Steve have said it in any worse way? Could Steve have kept his stupid perfect mouth shut? 

“No- I didn’t mean it like that- you just- you always seem so- mean” Steve said cringing, he didn't make it any better. “Like you don’t really engage with people much?” Steve could tell he was making it up. His stomach was flipping. He just felt like Tony seemed lonely, distant, maybe cold? Those were the kind of things you kept to yourself though. Steve knew it was too late to make it better, so he decided to leave it there. The hurt that flashed through Tony’s face with each word made Steve’s heart clench with guilt. 

“For someone so observational you really don’t watch your  _ incredible  _ friends very closely” Tony snarled. 

“What do you mean with that?” Steve said in a slightly defensive tone. Sure his friends weren’t perfect. But they were there for him. They made him laugh, and they were part of his team. Sure there were the occasional sexist jokes that he had to correct, some mild toxic masculinity, but that wasn’t really their fault. Why would he blame them for the way his parents raised him? 

_ Fuck.  _

Tony scoffed. 

Steve couldn’t help it when a little voice in his head said  _ pretentious. _

“It means that they’re assholes” Tony said shortly pushing himself into the corner. He was getting away from Steve, and both boys knew that both boys knew. 

“Tony, look, I get it, they probably aren’t a huge fan of the whole ‘you’re a Stark’ thing, but look that’s just their sense of humour, making fun of you for having house staff won’t kill you-“ 

“Earnestly I don’t fucking care about how they treat me. I don’t give a shit, because honestly, being liked by assholes like them is an insult” Tony said with a bit of a passive aggressive tone. “If you want an extensive list of shit they’ve done I can gather it-“ he added with a bit of a drawling tone. Acting like things were a joke was his only way of disconnecting ‘his emotions’ from the situation. 

Steve groaned “you don’t need to be so sore about this shit, they’re not that funny but their good guys-“ 

“You just don’t hear people” Tony laughed sardonically unzipping the tent and reaching for his still-wet sneakers. He slid them over his un-socked feet. He probably lashed out at Steve before he could grab a pair, he couldn’t quite remember. Either way, it was better than getting a second pair soaking wet in the stormy weather. As he tied the laces muddy water rolled down his index finger. It reminded him of his tea that morning, which in turn reminded him just how exhausted he was. 

“It’s pouring out there you’ll get sick-“ Steve said, giving him a slightly bewildered face. 

“Nicer in the rain then in your company” Tony mumbled, zipping the door shut before Steve could get another word in. Was this really the same Steve from the previous night? He’d been so comforting, and understanding, and shut up Tony thinking shit like that won’t get you anywhere. Okay, but maybe a thank you would be worth it. He unzipped the tent again. 

“I didn’t mean that and also, I uh, I never thanked you for yesterday” he said cringing at the memory, it was in the same quiet voice he’d used the previous night his eyes staring at the warm wool socks he’d delegated not to wear. 

“Oh-“ Steve was taken slightly off guard “um, your welcome? Are we gonna talk about that now or-“

“No” Tony replied. “I’m uh, I’m just gonna- yeah I'm Going to find Nat-“ he added awkwardly, he could tell his face was pink and that made him want the rain to drown him right there on spot. 

“Okay” Steve replied in an equally flustered tone. He had fucking butterflies in his stomach. Tony looked really fucking cute with his wet hair drying into fluffy waves, and his baggy grey sweatpants, the way he was so easy to embarrass. Or maybe only Steve could fluster him that easily, that was wistful thinking though, right? 

The rain did not settle until right around dinner. Miraculously the firewood managed to stay dry under there. 

The students were all gathered up tightly around the fire seeing as there was minimal space. Steve was sitting with Zola. He looked around for Tony. His face glowing in the firelight. He was sitting next to Natasha. She seemed to be telling him something important, he nodded along absentmindedly. Steve noticed the way he tugged at his sweatshirt. It was enticing, Steve found his little habits attractive, and that was  _ very  _ fucking bad. 

The first time it happened Steve played it off as a mistake. Pierce’s hand had flown up, he was telling a story, didn’t really care that someone was right next to him.

The second time was harder to excuse. There was a deliberate eye contact, and all though the hand barely moved, pausing mere seconds after it tensed, it still caused the shorter of the two to turn away from the other. 

The third time, his antics were so obvious and cruel and Steve was genuinely disturbed. He leaned over Brock who seemed to find the whole scene just as amusing as Alexander did. 

“What the hell’s that about?” Steve said in his  _ I’m the captain of the football, and therefore you listen to me  _ voice jostling Alexander’s shoulder slightly. 

Alexander shrugged “Inside joke” he said with a jeering side eye to Tony who was gripping the edge of the bench. 

“It doesn’t seem very funny,” Steve countered. 

Pierce shrugged “It’s an inside joke Steve, you kind of have to  _ be  _ there to find it funny” he said in a casual tone. “Right Tony?” He smiled. 

Tony simply shrugged apathetically at the sound of his name before turning back to his conversation with Natasha. 

Steve furrowed his brow, was he being overly protective? Were Tony’s words really that important that they made him question those who he trusted? Tony  _ had  _ a point. He didn’t really pay attention to what they did. They weren’t friend’s because they had compatible personalities, they were friends by situation. God, two three years ago, when he was skinny and asthmatic they would have probably stuffed him into a locker for gags. And maybe Steve  _ did  _ give them the benefit of the doubt too frequently.

So he paused and he watched. 

He watched the way Tony talked to his friend Natasha. The way his eyes lit up when she asked questions, and the way he’d bury his face in his hands as she leaned over and whispered in his ear. Steve  _ wasn’t  _ jealous. He noticed the way he looked surprised when she placed an arm around his shoulder, and he remembered the way Tony’s body tensed when he’d done the same thing the previous night. He saw the way Tony would cut himself mid sentence and apologize. 

He watched the way Rumlow’s eyes scanned over the crowd hissing rude remarks every so often in Alexander’s ear. He watched as they one upped one another. He noticed the way they rolled their eyes when they didn’t know much about the subject at hand. 

And Tony was right. 

And Steve was a dick. 

Steve thought Tony was asleep by the time he made it back to his tent. I mean he would’ve fooled anyone, quietly lying their face turned towards the walls of it. He heard the sleeping bag rustle and immediately apologized for waking him up. 

The bags under his eyes seemed to have gotten bigger during the hour or so Tony was in the tent before Steve arrived. 

“I wasn’t sleeping” Tony replied simply, he rolled onto his stomach resting his temples in his hands. 

Steve too was lying on his front, however his head was propped up by his chin laying on two fists. 

“So” Steve said, letting it lift into the darkness that engulfed their tent. Steve had tucked his head lamp into the upper mesh. “D’you mind if I turn a light on” 

“Go for it” 

“You’re right,” Steve whispered into the cold silence. The rain was beginning to pick up again, tapping aggressively on the fabric of their tent. Almost a reminder that they were together, separate from everything else in the world. They were hidden from the endless stretch of dark matter, and from the brutal winds, the nothingness that stretches for eternity at the end of the universe. 

“Aren’t I always” Tony joked slightly. 

And a day ago, hell an hour ago, Steve probably wouldn’t have noticed that it was humour. 

“Probably” Steve replied with a soft smile. 

“What changed your mind?” Tony murmured, finally meeting the blonde's eyes. God were they gorgeous. Blue, grey, green. Endless. Full of life. 

Steve felt kind of like an idiot. Had he truly been that oblivious this entire time. “Their jokes aren’t that funny,” he replied, lowering his voice. 

Tony’s face fell slightly. He didn’t reply. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Steve asked in a soft tone. And for some weird reason, Tony wasn’t feeling belittled or ashamed from it. 

“No thanks Mr. Therapy I’m good” Tony said with a drowsy smirk. 

“You need sleep” Steve concluded, noticing how his words slurred together.

“I wouldn’t argue that one” Tony said with a loopy chuckle. 

“So you know, normally when people are tired they go to sleep” Steve said reaching up for the light. 

“Wait- not yet” Tony mumbled awkwardly, embarrassed words actually split from his lips. 

“You good?” Steve said glancing around as though he were looking for whatever caused the sudden reaction. 

Tony shrugged “I-“ it sounded so stupid  _ like hearing your voice  _ or  _ want you to keep talking  _ what the fuck was he meant to say. “I’m I don’t know just-“ Tony’s voice trailed off. 

Steve didn’t question it. They lay in silence the light from the stars and the cold both held out by their tent. It heated up with each breath, and it smiled each time it felt their stomachs flip. 

A silence overtook the tent. Steve was watching Tony, his face luminous, every edge underlined with shadows, and everything else shimmering in the soft light of a crappy headlamp. Neither boy made any move to sleep, and yet neither boy made any motion to resume the conversation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Feel free to leave prompts/express what you want to see more/less of 
> 
> <3 Vivy


	3. too tired for this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick snippet, may be deleted later, however it is what happens between 4 am and 7 am   
> it's very short but I needed to add -something- seeing as I keep trying and at this point I like nothing I make so I have to.   
> It's fairly fluffy, a bit of angst. 
> 
> it's 2:22 am and I ahve not edited this
> 
> <3 Vivvy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had a huge physics test yesterday (Yeah a freaking Saturday!), I don't recommend honours physics, at all. Don't take it, it's not worth the tears. I swear I lost 40% of my body weight in pure saltwater studying for that.   
> It went well though! Not that anyone cares about my physics test, however, this test has been stressing me out for weeeeeks.
> 
> <3 Vivvyyyy

Steve was woken up early, hell, real early, in fact, it was still fucking dark outside. He woke up due to the cold, so he fully expected to be alone in the tent, potentially with the door open. When he propped himself up on his elbows he was slightly surprised to see Tony. Tony was sitting wide eyed staring at the space between himself and Steve propped up his sleeping bag pooling at his waist. His hands were fumbling with the zipper, not necessarily to open or close it just to busy his hands. There tent smelt of campfire, which was comforting in it’s own dangerous way. Easily confused with burning buildings when really only representing warmth and love. It felt suiting for some reason.

Tony, hair fluffy, eyes accompanied by slightly-smaller eye bags than usual, slight panic covering his face.

“Are you all right?” Steve mumbled sitting fully up.

Tony jumped slightly. “God Steve don’t sneak up on me like that” Tony hissed, it wasn’t a malicious hiss, a defensive one.

“We’re around a foot a part Tony” Steve dead panned.

Tony gulped. “Yeah” he choked out awkwardly still staring blankly at the small amount of space between them.

“What’s wrong?” Steve amended, he had to do that with Bucky to, if you say ‘are you okay’ the answer is always ‘yes’, when you take that option away you usually go farther.

“ _Nothing_ ” Tony laughed. “I just woke up-“ Tony paused awkwardly his face flushed “a little warm” he said.

Steve couldn’t piece together _why_ exactly this would be nerve wracking, but Tony was easily flustered specifically in the morning. He shifted his arm which landed on Tony’s pillow, which seemed to answer his confusion. Hell he wasn’t even _on_ his sleeping mat, he’d found his way halfway across the tent.

“ _Oh_ ” Steve said awkwardly. He glanced at Tony who was wearing a puzzled face “Sorry- I move around a tad” he laughed uncomfortably.

“ _Ohh,_ no no, it wasn’t- _that_ , I just, I’m-“ Tony rubbed at his temples “I don’t usually sleep more than four hours, so I kind of get this like heavy feeling when I do, and my body goes into overdrive, like I start warming up- I’m usually almost always cold, that’s aside the point I just get this weird like alert feeling-“

“Like being well rested?” Steve teased slightly.

Tony glared slightly. “No, like my thoughts are really boldly there, instead of kind of hazy- _yeah like being well rested_ ” He sighed. “You’re lucky you’re likeable” Tony added with a smirk.

“You like me?” Steve asked, it was blurted out without thought.

The quick facial expression change was difficult for Steve to see. The ways Tony’s eyes widened with insecurity and uncertainty. He looked cornered, lost, he didn’t know where he was meant to go with this.

“I- y- no- do _you_ still hate me?” He forced out awkwardly staring at the ground again with a slightly pained expression.

“What? No- no, what? No, I was- just- I thought- never mind, I like you Tony” he paused the silence was overwhelming “do you think you can go back to sleep?” Steve added quietly, _he_ was tired. He sighed knowingly when Tony tentatively shook his head. At least he was being honest.  
“We could play truth or dare until I fall asleep” Steve offered.

“Mmmm, I can’t promise I’ll either do the dare or tell the truth” Tony mused. He sounded awake as he pulled his sweat shirt off and slid back on to his back. “But sure”

Steve smiled, he used to play truth or dare with Bucky when he couldn’t sleep. Bucky would run his hands through his hair and Steve so badly wanted to pull Tony over and play with his.

“Truth or dare” Tony whispered.

“Truth” Steve replied.

“Why did you and Peggy break up?” He asked.

Steve bit the inside of his cheek. Well they were starting strong. That’s a great question Tony, maybe because _I’m into men! Specifically you!_ That always goes over great. “We were more, I guess, we made better sense as friends. She was good at reading me before I could read myself, I- I like guys- she could tell” Steve muttered, what was the point of him lying to Tony? It’s not like he really fucking cared anymore, it was four in the morning.

Tony didn’t say anything snarky, which was a surprise, a relief swell.

“Truth or dare?” Steve asked.

“Truth” Tony replied. “I don’t wanna leave the tent, we should amend this to truth or truth”

Steve laughed “sounds good” He paused, what _did_ he want to know about Tony. He didn’t want to start to forceful and scare him away. ‘Why are you all flinchy’ or ‘whats with the panic attacks’ might— _will_ come off the wrong way. Hell they could never come off the right way- there was no right way to force people to share things like that. “What’s the banquet story?” Steve asked.

“Huh?” Tony turned to him with a puzzled look on his face.

“Hammer always said you were an ass for hanging the banquet story over his head, what is the banquet story?”

To Steve’s surprise Tony snorted. “Not really my place to tell, so I will be removing all names from this story” he said with an amused smile. “So me and, um- mallet, we’ll call this _mysterious_ guy who you have no way of knowing if you know him mallet. Anyways this asshat is getting drunk with me, I think I was fourteen and he was sixteen? I’m not totally sure, either way he convinces me it’s an incredible idea to leave the main banquet room, Christmas thing, anyways, we’re drinking my- um, dad’s liquor or whatever” he mumbled over that part which Steve noted. “And both are kind of tipsy, anyways, we start fighting because that’s just kind of how we are and next thing I know I’m pinned up against a wall, I’m expecting to get- ha- malleted in the face, and instead I get Mallet in the face, if you know what I mean. Like full on snogging my face. More stuff happened but that’s the part I’d assume, that your friend Hammer, who I may neither confirm or deny being part of the story, was referring too”

Steve felt kind of intrusive asking that, like he’d exposed Justin, but honestly coming onto a drunk fourteen year old when your two fucking years older was a little bit fucked. Justin _was_ born in December the year before Steve, so they were only half a year apart in age, but that particular situation just felt plain wrong.

“Truth or truth Steve” Tony said stifling a yawn, which made Steve feel a little triumphant.  
“I wonder what I’ll pick Tony”

This received a small swat. “Okay so you know how you used to be really like, sick-victorian-child-y?”

Steve groaned “Yes, I remember that, Is that your question-“

“ _No”_ Tony said quickly. “I swear to god, if you refuse to answer this one I’ll ask it again next round.”

“Not if I fall asleep first” Steve teased. “Shoot” he added.

“And then you got real jacked over that one summer, were you part of that kids hospital fix-it program?”  
That kind of took him by surprise, no one was supposed to know “um, yeah, actually, only one it worked on evidentally- how did you know-“

“Howard Carbonell, Carbonells my Ma’s maiden name” Tony said quietly staring into the dark above him.

“Oh, whoah, no way- He’s a great guy, seriously, you’re lucky to have such a brilliant father” he heard Tony deflate next to him, but he didn’t make any immediate questions, why would he assume the worst.

“My dad liked you, a lot, he tried- _tries_ to track you down still” Tony mumbled he’d rolled away from Steve, his face towards the wall, mumbling into his pillow. He suddenly sounded far more tired than one would expect.

“Oh” Steve replied. “Why?” Steve asked awkwardly.

Tony shrugged “Who fucking knows” he said snappishly.

“Truth or truth” Steve said light heartedly.

Tony replied with silence, and Steve was trying to figure out where he went wrong and then a little quiet “truth” filled his ears and they both laughed a little.

“What’s your biggest fear?” Steve asked.

“M not afraid of anything” Tony smirked.

“Okay fine, three things that are a little bit scary”

“Third, being handed things, second, adults who use slang, and first would be sharing a tent with you” Tony smiled.

Steve shook his head “classic, immature, can’t even take my question seriously” he said in feign annoyance.

“This isn’t a therapy session is it?” Tony countered.

“Well no-“

“Than I won’t be taking this seriously, deal with it jock”

“Well, then, it _is_ a therapy session” Steve countered Tony’s counter.

“What is the probability you will remember this in the morning?”

“High, but give it another night of talking and it will be low”  
“okay fine, Third is depending on other people for things, because you know, that’s just not really great, Second is oversharing, which is ironic because I’m doing it right now, but I’m too tired to know any better, but I probably won’t talk to you tomorrow if this is actually coming out of my mouth. Number one is- um, becoming like certain people I really hate”

“You won’t become anything like the things you hate-“ Steve said “That doesn’t make sense”

“The magazines would disagree, apparently I’m already just like him” Tony mumbled.

Steve paused, trying to think back to the titles he’d seen on the tube lately. “ _Howard Stark_ ” He said mostly to himself. “Why do you-“

“Are you cold? It’s really cold in here”

“Put your sweatshirt back on” Steve replied. This time he did not miss the blush that filled his face.

“It was dark, I accidentally grabbed yours- It was completely an accident, but I don’t wanna dig around for my- and you know it would be weird- and it’s way too big so it’s kind of like- super warm- I just- I’m rambling I’m going to shut the fuck up now”

“Wear it I don’t care”

“ _I do_ ”  
“Why?”

“Because it- smells like you?”

“Is that _bad_ , thanks Tony” Steve grumbled embarrassedly.  
“No- no fuck, just- awkward, it’s like I’m sleeping with- _no no god no not- fuck”_

“You _are_ sleeping with- _oh_ no not that, we’re three feet apart, you’re going to” Steve cringed _“smell me either way_ ” He replied gulping awkwardly.

“Well, it’s like, being, surrounded by _Steve_ and that’s just-“

“What’s wrong with being surrounded by Steve?” Steve asked. Their words collectively were becoming slurred messes with sleep deprived stumbles over every syllable.

“Nothing, but I’m cold”

“If you don’t stop whining I will _physically surround you_ ”

Tony smiled slightly ignoring the fact that he kind of did want to be curled into Steve’s side, because that was something nobody ever had to know. Ever. Never.

“It’s really stuffy in here” Tony groaned four minutes after putting the sweater on.

“ _Jesus Christ Tony_ ” Steve matched his town and stepped out of his sleeping bag. The sun was starting to rise, meaning they weren’t getting more sleep either way. It’s fine, Steve told himself, six hours of sleep is enough, right.  
“Lets look at the stars” he said grabbing the neck of Tony’s hoodie- sorry his hoodie that was on- no- engulfing Tony.  
Tony obliged stepping out of the tent. “More like watch the sunrise, wait wait wait-“ Tony grinned.

Well leaving the tent sure woke him up.

“Can we grab coffee from the cache before the chaperones wake up- I _need_ coffee.” Tony whined.  
“If a cup of coffee will shut you up I’m willing to support this rule breaking” Steve said shoving his hands into his pockets.

And so ten minutes later, there they sat on a log, watching the sun slowly rise over a lake.

Steve was sketching the landscape. Tony looked pensive.

“Howard isn’t brilliant. He might be clever, but he’s far from brilliant”

“Hmm?” Steve asked not really remembering where this was coming from.

“You called him brilliant. I’m telling you that that’s incorrect” Tony replied taking a sip from his coffee. He had two other packages of instant coffee in his sweatpants pockets.

“I can’t keep up with what I’ve said, _you_ woke me up at three am”

“It was four thirty at least, and I was being quiet”

“You whispered my name like seven times” Steve countered. “And I think you screamed at some point”

“I _did not_ ”  
“Okay, yeah you didn’t but I like seeing you all flustered and defensive” Steve smirked.  
“you actually are the most irritating person I know” Tony glared.  
“So does this dad being not so great thing have anything to do with the whole um, flinch thing?” Steve asked carefully.

Tony’s silence was enough of an answer for Steve. He carefully rested an arm around Tony’s shoulders. “Sorry” He whispered.

Tony shook his head “your good” he smiled softly which got a smile from Steve.

“How do you not look tired at all” Tony whined looking at Steve’s face. “D’you have a mirror in there I don’t know about?”

“Maybe it’s because I usually get a full sleep and therefore don’t have chronic-eye-bags”

“That was insulting” Tony grumbled taking another sip of his coffee. “Natasha likes you” he commented.  
Steve stiffened.  
Which caused Tony to freeze up, which reminded Steve that he had to tread carefully so he awkwardly pulled Tony back to their previous position. “You don’t mean, like like right-“

“Oh- no not that, she wouldn’t do that to me-“ Tony laughed his voice trailing off when he realized what he said. His head swung up to face Steve, brown eyes full of panic and self-betrayal. What Tony wasn’t expecting was for Steve to lean in and just fucking kiss him right then and there. Everything felt messy, and confusing. Everything _was_ messy and confusing. Tony kissed back, it was stupid, straight out of a rom com. Everything down to the almost fully-risen sun in the sky, and the oversized sweatshirt. Tony was kind of glad he decided to come on the stupid trip. Steve was kind of glad they got lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading
> 
> please let me know if this chapter was shit so I can delete it ha  
> Please le tme know if you enjoyed it! And let me know what you actually want to see next!   
> This is a =temporary- chapter probably
> 
> anyways,  
> thank you for supporting this story   
> <3 Vivvvvvv

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I hope you enjoyed it! if you want more or have requests or critiques please comment!  
> Thanks,  
> <3 viv


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